The answer is no. No you do not have the time; no one does. Not without a functioning U.S. Naval Observatory master clock. The sight of a blank master clock on a recent walk past the Observatory really unnerved me. The USNO determines the official, precise time in the United States, and is apparently also responsible for managing something called “time dissemination.” (I clicked the link on the USNO’s webpage to try to find out what that was, but my eyes started to cross, so here’s the link. You’ll have to do the legwork yourselves.) It is THE time, people.
So . . . was someone still keeping track of the time, or were we all floating around in a timeless abyss? Is the time correct now, or is it just some naval officer’s best guess after a meltdown? Or, more plausibly, was the sign broken?
The whole thing made me think of “I.Q.,” the 1994 rom com starring Meg Ryan and Tim Robbins. What, you don’t remember it? Well I do, and there is a scene where one of the scientists is doing an experiment where he puts a guy in windowless room all day, leaves the lights on, and feeds him at irregular intervals. The whole thing makes the subject crazy; he screams in a wild panic for hours. Then Albert Einstein (just go with it) slips a watch under the door and the subject is happy as can be. The point is, not knowing what time it is drives people crazy. So let’s hope the USNO resolves the situation promptly so we can all avoid that scenario.